“It’s a new year, that means a blank slate, a new beginning! Last year is behind me and this year is ahead of me.” Jack tells me exuberantly.
I asked, “And that means… ?”
Jack continues, “And that means that I get to decide what I will do differently.” Jack continues to share with me his resolutions for the new year. And there were 8, a balance of business and personal improvements.
He said the 9th one to make me laugh as he knows what an Apple fan boy I am. The question is … how likely is Jack to succeed? Let’s start with some facts from research. My daughter, Joy, said to me “I googled it… so it must be true!” So, I googled for some facts and here’s what I found:
Based on these statistics, Jack has a high probability of not maintaining his resolutions for the year. Ironically, except for #9 (the fake one). He can go out right now and buy that iPad and be done! Here’s what I coached Jack to consider when setting his resolutions for the year:
Both aspirations and goals are great. What’s not great is mistaking an aspiration for a goal, then getting discouraged when you fail. For example: “Anger is dead. I am not going to get angry and yell at people.” If that is an aspiration, that’s good. But if it’s a goal, then there is a good chance that Jack will get angry at least once during the year and feel discouraged that he failed to not be angry. Instead of writing “Anger is dead.” consider writing the actual action or change in behavior you would like to achieve. For example, “Pause and stop escalating discussions when I feel anger beginning to build."
A goal would be “Lose 20 pounds.” A behavior change would be “Wake up 90 minutes earlier every day and exercise for 30-40 minutes.” If you lost 20 pounds without waking up to exercise, would that still be a successful resolution? Decide if you want a goal or a behavior change. Often times, it does take behavioral change to achieve a goal. And if you achieved an improvement or change in behavior but fell short of the goal, did you achieve your resolution for the year? Get clear. Clarity is the precursor to being focused.
Change is hard. Often times change does not happen until the pain of not changing is greater than the pain of changing. We are creatures of habit held back by inertia. Less is more. Stop at 3. Seventy-five percent of people can’t maintain their resolutions past the first week of the year. That means 25% of you reading this blog have already failed with your resolutions! That’s ok. Let’s de-suck ourselves early in the year and get successful! Sixty-four percent only last one month. And only 8% to 12% actually succeed. Now that we are starting the second week of the year, it’s time to take a second crack at this and write resolutions that will truly make a difference for you this year. Here are some tips and ideas to consider as you re-consider and write resolutions that will put you at the head of the class - the 8% to 12% that maintain your resolutions for the full year, and maybe even beyond the year.
Do you want to create a new habit, set a goal, or work towards an aspiration? Begin with the end in mind. Get clear on what you want.
There is only so much change that one can achieve successfully. The more resolutions you have, the higher your probability of failing. Less is more. Choose and be successful with 3.
Understand upfront what success looks like. Use Red-Yellow-Green success criteria. Let me demonstrate with Jack’s new morning ritual habit.
Red-Yellow-Green helped Jack gain clarity on what he could really do with this behavior change. He has now set himself up for success.
Often times the right question leads us to the right answers. Questions also help you to be open and curious. Consider taking ONE question, wrestle with it, play with it and think on it for the year. Some ideas for you to consider as questions:
How regularly and frequently should you visit with your resolutions and take stock of your progress? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? I would suggest weekly, as it gives you enough time to see how you are doing, and it also gives you 50 opportunities for the rest of the year to learn make adjustments to maintain or achieve your resolutions.
I know I said 5 Tips. Five was Green, six is SuperGreen! This 6th tip is for the crazy ones - the extreme guys and gals who really really want this. Do you really really want this? If you do, then join the crazy ones. Put your resolutions on a dashboard, display it publicly. Allow transparency and others to keep you accountable to doing your resolutions. After all, it's not the writing of resolutions that gives you success. Rather, it's the doing of resolutions that gives you success!
The best is yet to be. I wish you all a successful, wonderful and awesome 2014. Thank you for reading my blog. Write back. Let me know if this helps you to kick off a great year!