How Leading by Example Changed Me for Life

What makes a leader worth following? I didn’t fully understand this until my time in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF)—where I learned a lesson that would shape my leadership forever.

A leader who practices “Do what I say, not what I do” will find less and less people following them every time they look over their shoulder—but a leader who leads by example, as it is described in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF), will have a strong and loyal following. 

After graduating from Cornell University, I spent two and half years fulfilling my national service in the SAF—just like all Singaporean men at the time (today, young men, like my nephews, serve two years). After finishing three months of boot camp and nine more months of Officer Cadet training, I was given command of a signals and communications platoon.  

As a young officer, I quickly noticed a pattern. Most officers skipped physical training, leaving it to their staff sergeants. It didn’t sit right with me. If I was going to lead these men, I needed to prove that I was willing to do the hard work myself—so I decided I would join my platoon for morning PT (physical training).

I started off by leading a couple of training sessions. Then, I turned this duty back over to my staff sergeant and started doing the exercises myself. “It’s really not necessary to join your men in physical training,” a couple of officers mentioned to me. But I was undeterred. Plus, I enjoyed it! 

Months later, when I was finishing up my service and getting ready to come back to the USA to further my studies, my men informed me that they wanted to throw a farewell party to say goodbye.

“When you first joined us for PT, we were surprised—and a little scared,” said one of my men at the party. “But then we were impressed that you set a higher bar when you led the training.” Yup, I had just finished OCS (Officer Candidate School) and was super fit, so it was easy to set a higher bar for the PT! “But you know what impressed us even more?” they asked me. “When you started exercising by our side.”  

My sergeant, who was a career soldier, shared with me how few officers did this.

“Usually, I’m not thrilled about serving young officers like you, but I know that’s the way the Singapore army works,” he told me. “Young officers come in through OCS, and I have to accept their command, and they are gone in about a year. I’m really training them how to be true officers! But with you, I found myself really wanting to support you and help you learn faster—and not bump your head too many times along the way. I’ll really miss serving as your staff sergeant.”

I was floored by what my men shared with me. At a time when I did not even know what leadership meant, the SAF taught me to level up as a leader—lessons I’ve carried with me ever since.

This was one of my first real lessons in leadership—but it wasn’t my last. Over the years, I’ve discovered 7 key practices that separate great leaders from the rest. If you want to build a high-performing team and scale your company, you’ll find them all in The Journey to CEO Success: 7 Practices for High Growth Leadership.

Here are a few of the most important lessons I learned from my time in SAF:

• Lead from the front – Never ask your team to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.

• Prove your capabilities – In the SAF, I had to be as fit—or fitter—than my men. Leaders must set the standard.

• Be present daily – Leadership isn’t a title; it’s a full-contact sport. Spend time with your team.

• Stay humble – A leader’s power comes from trust, not authority.

The SAF is long behind me. Instead of running miles in military gear, I am now a founder, CEO, and coach to other CEOs. But my mentality hasn’t changed. I take the military wisdom that helped me level up as a leader and apply it to my own leadership and coaching every day. 

Leadership isn’t about authority—it’s about trust. When you lead by example, your team won’t just follow you; they’ll believe in you. And when that happens, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.

If you are serious about becoming a great leader, you’ll be happy to know that leading by example is one of many approaches you can incorporate on your journey. To learn more about how to “Level Up”, dive into my latest book, The Journey to CEO Success: 7 Practices for High Growth Leadership, where you’ll learn how to build a high-growth team, master execution, and inspire action.